too much now... enough is enough.

This one is more of a rant...
 Can't find any other way of expressing how I feel right now.

I don't want pity. I don't want shit. This is my feelings and if you don't like it don't read my blog simple as.

Why is it that people wait until you are so close to breaking point to push buttons and cause heartache??
For goodness sake do you really think my priority right now is whether I've upset the latest person or offended them with the choices I've made? No! My priority is My son and my fiancée. In exactly 5 weeks we will have to give birth to a baby with a serious heart defect and watch other people nurse him to health. So no I'm not sorry you can't come and see him and I'm not sorry that you can't hold him and I'm certainly not sorry that you won't be able to coo over him right away. That is the least of my worries. As a mother I am at the end of my tether now. I've tried being nice. I've tried not to piss people off and I've tried to be honest. Now I'm just done with it all.
I'm done with people hurting my family... just leave peacefully and respectfully and let them move forward. - I admit that's cryptic but it's not my place to say any more in regards to that. Just know I love my family so much and we will get through this as a unit. In relation to that we are not a punching bag for every ones guilt. Maybe instead of accusing the person who has held the pieces of this family together, you should look towards your own guilts as a person. This can apply to several people at present. We officially have no more chunks of ourselves to give.
Do me a favour and if you get the urge to stir up trouble or drama or cause a row... just don't.  We are dealing with enough.
What I would like to add is that everyone who has been there for us lately.. I genuinely thank you all and Ciaran and I love you with all of our hearts. I know words don't cover the love and gratitude we have to give and if we could make it up to you we would!!!!
We are not playing any more games and we are not buying into webs of bullshit so just take it elsewhere. (Excuse the repetitive sentences I'm just so fed up)
I heard a telling sentence today. 'If your so bothered about someone taking over your responsibility then maybe you should ask your self why the void is big enough for some one to fill it in the first place' amen to that!
So going forward people... If Ciaran and I seem distant. We are being so deliberately. We have a lot of preparing to do in the next 5 weeks and we cannot take anything else on. If we don't reply to you when your getting shitty with us. It's because we have bigger shit to deal with and if we don't get round to seeing people it's because we are busy. We really no longer care who we upset because of the difficult choices we have to make. This is about our baby. So have a tantrum. Dig your heals in. It will only upset yourself.
We are very excited to move into our new home and get everything ready for little man and we really can't wait to be parents. We are so happy, my families are coming together and becoming one big unit and support network for each other and things in the near future seem so happy. So no one is going to ruin that for us now.
Archie needs me calm and relaxed especially from now on.
I would like to add that I really can't believe I have to get to this point? I just don't understand logic sometimes? I would understand if we had been stupid about all of this... It's like people have gone oooooo these people have had a really, really bad time of it. I know how about I make them feel worse about their situation? Rub some salt in that big ol' wound.
So yeah bottom line of this is. If you can't be happy for us or you feel you can't support us and love us regardless of how it makes you feel... PISS OFF. We don't want to know. Nor will it be difficult to cut you out of our lives for however long it takes, because if you are willing to cause us more pain for your own selfishness... you don't deserve to be part of this amazing family. End of. Rant over.